When I have fear that I may cease to be

In the presence of a democracy wrapped in coercion, under the clouds of dirt from suicide bombing, feeling the rain of poor blood from the skies, bearing the embarrassment due to able leadership, hearing the cries of people pertaining absence of basic human needs... I still believed strongly that our forces (army, navy & airforce) are there to protect us and they are one of the best in the world. This was my belief like any other boy who was grown up in Pakistan and specially if had an army family background. But in this rhetoric belief that I possessed I forgot who is building this army. 65 years old forces were weak enough to detect two helicopters coming deep into mother nation's ground and killing the worlds most wanted fugitive just at a stone throwing distance from armies most premier institute named as Kakool where young army cadets are trained before getting commissioned. Just one week back COAS was there in a passing out of a degree and claimed during his speech that we have shattered the back bone of terrorism. Little did he knew that the worlds most wanted human is at a distance of an eye sight. Is this a failure of our forces, intelligence? or? I dont even have any other opinion to think of. I can never believe they were involved in harboring him so close to their own hearts. But thats what the world is saying and making fun of us as a nation, as an army or what ever way they can. And they are right to do so. I still dont want to believe that we are so incompetent. I always believed and still do that it is our forces that have kept this nation united and they are the ones who will protect us but if this all had not happened I would have simply lived smiling with the same creed. I am scared that the protection I thought was there has holes in it, abyss so big enough to allow diffusion of foriegn elements. How can we trust ourselves is something our political circle needs to think now more than thinking for their assets and politics. This country needs us more than ever, this country needs to prove itself. Sooner or later... I dont believe we will ever collapse because if the need be we will give our lives for this nation... but the feeling to know that the base where I am standing is weak enough to take my own weight worries me... it should worry every one.